


the subtle angst of timetravel

by hamifihekrix



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Emotions ._., Parental Abuse, Referencing to Parental Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-18 09:46:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21509065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamifihekrix/pseuds/hamifihekrix
Comments: 4
Kudos: 34





	the subtle angst of timetravel

JOHN: are you sure about this dave?  
JOHN: this sounds a lot more emotionally taxing than is worth it for the reward.  
DAVE: look  
DAVE: john  
DAVE: you had a good relationship with your dad as far as i know this is different  
DAVE: keeping this shit all bottled up is only going to make me explode much like holding in a shit would in real life  
DAVE: i need to talk to him to reconcile or what ever the fuck  
DAVE: talking to dirk helped but its not the same  
DAVE: regardless of how distant or not he is from being my bro hes still a different person  
DAVE: so yes john i am motherfucking ready for this avalanche of shit and emotions  
JOHN: well... goodluck then!  
DAVE: thanks  


Your name is DAVE STRIDER, and you're about to use your powers over time to travel back through it so you can have a nice little chat to your brother. Not an alternate version of your brother, one who's still alive, but your real brother. The one who _did _die.__

You take one last look at John, before focusing your mind on using your time-bending abilities. You swore off of them long ago, but you feel as if this counts as a special occasion. You say goodbye to John in your mind right as your concious, and your body, are moved to this exact spot, eight years before your group completed Sburb and Earth C was created. You would have been, what, thirteen? Fourteen? Somewhere around there. You don't pay attention to your age as much as you used to, which is not a difficult task. You were the master at knowing how fucking old you were. No one knew your age more than you did.  


Considering that Earth C didn't exist at this point, Paradox Space decides to just do whatever the fuck it wants and shits you out on the top of your old apartment. You would laugh at the sheer coincidence, but you don't have the time nor joking attitude to even point that out to anyone other than yourself.

Being even on the top of this house brings back more memories than you were expecting, not all positive. In fact, you would say there are a large amount of negative memories associated with this place, with not a huge amount of positive ones. You can't collect any of those positive memories, but surely there are some. You just... can't remember them right now.

You want to avoid crying right now. You don't want him to see you with red eyes, not right now at least. Not this time. Instead, you find the stairs down to the next floor. You wonder if he's home. You know your younger self will be home, because you weren't allowed to leave the apartment, and you want to avoid that. Your brother was always an elusive shitbag. He probably knows you're here already, and will be the one to find you, instead of the other way round.

You sneak your way around all his rooms. His "office", his gaming lounge, his bedroom. No where. Maybe he isn't home? You guess you'll wait in his bedroom. You were never allowed in here as a child, so there's no risk of running into your younger self.

You pick up one of the many manga comics that your brother kept next to his bed. You never learnt Japanese, despite his efforts. You can't read what it says on the front. You open it up to find steamy anime boys looking at each other longingly. You're interested, but the dialogue is also written in Japanese. You just look at the pictures for a while.

As you're picking up one of the other comics, you hear steps coming up to the door. You drop the first comic you had picked up, and position yourself in a cool pose, ready for whatever he's going to say. The door opens, wider, wider. He steps through the door, planting foot in-front of foot. Eyes hidden behind his shades, he looks in your direction.

BRO: Dave.  
DAVE: brother dearest  
DAVE: oh how ive missed you  
BRO: What's your business here.  
DAVE: oh you know  
DAVE: i just wanted a little chat  
DAVE: a small discussion  
DAVE: a tiny heart to heart talk  
BRO: How did you get here? Don't you know how dangerous your mere existence here is?  
DAVE: im careful dirk  
DAVE: ive made precautions  
BRO: You've still risked too much to be here. You never think things through. I'm disappointed that you would even think to come out here.  
DAVE: what a coincidence that i dont give a shit what you think about me anymore  
DAVE: i have friends who can take care of shit if it all goes wrong  
DAVE: i just want to talk to you about why the fuck you put me through everything you did  
DAVE: lest i punch you in the face  
DAVE: though depending on how the conversation goes i might punch you in your dumb fucking face anyway  
BRO: You always were simple minded, Dave.   
BRO: Whatever. What do you want?  
DAVE: i already said it  
DAVE: tell me  
DAVE: why the fuck did you think it was ok to put me through everything you did  
DAVE: why are you such a terrible human being  
BRO: I don't know what you mean.  
DAVE: dont give me that bullshit  
DAVE: you know exactly what im talking about  
DAVE: the way you raised me completely fucked me up when i grew up i want to know why the fuck you did it  
BRO: I needed you to be strong, Dave.  
BRO: I knew what was coming up for you, and I needed to prepare you for it.  
DAVE: if youre so confident about that why did your teachings completely fuck me up during the game  
DAVE: your teachings made me so against using my powers and being a hero that i couldnt use them after a point  
DAVE: is that what you fucking wanted  
BRO: I'm not to blame for your failure. My teachings were fucking flawless.  
DAVE: you see this  
DAVE: this whole ass fucking scarred person right here  
DAVE: this is not the result of a fucking flawless plan  
DAVE: just admit you abused your fucking kid and then die in a deep deep hole you fucking asshole  
DAVE: i cant even come up with a clever little joke to make fun of your ass because youre just that fucking shitty  
BRO: I repeat, I am not at fault for your failure.  
BRO: I put you through everything so that you would be stronger. It isn't my fault that your pussy ass decided to bail on everything and become a wimp.  
BRO: How old are you know? Twenty? Thirty? It doesn't matter. You're a grown ass fucking adult but I'm confident I could still sweep the floor with you.  
BRO: You're too weak, Dave. You always were. It's a wonder Sburb didn't kill you off.  
BRO: I'd go as far to say that your session probably would have gone smoother without you.  
DAVE: say that again and ill shove my foot up your ass you werent even there what the fuck  
DAVE: as far as you know i saved that session multiple times without wiping a goddamn sweat  
BRO: Did you do that, Dave? Did you?  
DAVE: yes i did actually  
DAVE: because i got give one of the most op fucking powers out of everyone  
DAVE: just click my stupid fucking fingers and holy shit im back in time wow  
DAVE: really came in handy when everything went to shit multiple times  
BRO: I don't see the point of this conversation going any further. You can't change anything, Dave. No matter what point in time you come back to. No matter what point in time you come from.  
BRO: Because you know just as well as I do that if you change anything too major, the world you return to will be one that you do not recognize.  
BRO: Or maybe it will. Maybe it'll stay the exact same as it was before you left. But you're not strong enough to risk everything that you've made in the future, even for this strong, selfish desire you have to apparently tie up your feelings about me in a pretty little bow.  
BRO: No bows.  
BRO: Go home. Before you change everything.  
DAVE: surely inspring you to treat your child at least a little bit fucking humanely couldnt make anything any more fucking miserable  
DAVE: if i were to rate how much i goddamn believe that on a scale of one to ten id rate it as fucking astronomically fake  
BRO: You're not going to be able to change anything, Dave. Give up.  
DAVE: if youre going to be so fucking insistent on me leaving how about you make me leave  
DAVE: lets fight if i win you leave young me the fuck alone and if you lose ill  
DAVE: leave  
BRO: No. Leave.  
BRO: Whatever you need to prove to yourself... I don't care.  
DAVE: oh i get it i get it  
DAVE: now that im strong enough to defend myself you suddenly dont want to try to fight me  
DAVE: thats it right  
DAVE: ive grown up and now i can beat your skinny ass  
BRO: ...  
DAVE: well  
DAVE: im right arent i  
BRO: ...  
DAVE: fine  
DAVE: fucking fine  
DAVE: i guess its my fucking bad for trying to actually change anything  
DAVE: i guess ill be going  
DAVE: but heed this you bitch ass motherfucker  
DAVE: what youre doing to me isnt going to fucking work like you want it to because abusing your child isnt a way to properly fucking parent them  
DAVE: youre making whats coming up for young me much more difficult than it has to be  
DAVE: anyway im fucking out of here  
DAVE: fuck you  
DAVE: peace

Flipping off the one you once called brother, you once again focus your energy back onto travelling through time, this time back to the present, disappearing just as quickly as when you arrived.  
You decide to come back to twenty seconds after you left, giving John time to ajust to you leaving, but giving you enough time to make sure that John is still there.  
Sure enough, John's face is the first thing you see upon returning to your own time. 

JOHN: oh dave, you're back!  
DAVE: hell yeah i am  
JOHN: well? how did it go??  
DAVE: absolutely fucking fantastic  
JOHN: really?  
DAVE: fuck yeah wrapped up all those loose ends like a motherfucker  
JOHN: huh! i guess i was worried about nothing hehe.  
DAVE: yeah  
DAVE: i guess you were  



End file.
